This time I really wanted to tell you what a fantastic institution the Registrar's Office here in Curacao is, but I have now decided against it.

I have already been sort of evicted once, so I won't give them another reason just yet.

Instead, as I am in Amsterdam just now, I need to inform my fellow Germans (and all you others who might be interested) of what I have recently learned about our lovely neighbors, the Dutch.

Let me begin by saying that I think it is no secret that there is generally not a lot of love lost between the 2 countries, but that we exist in a somewhat peaceful co-existence. I had some rather violent encounters with Dutch people in the not too distant past, but it would take too long to narrate here what happened and I have come to the conclusion that the bunch we ran into at the time were just the sort of idiots of which there is no shortage in Germany either.

Growing up in Germany and in Bavaria at that you will normally form a certain picture in your mind about the Dutch. Some of that picture might among other things involve cheese, tulips, windmills, bicycles, rather odd shoes and hats as well as the color orange. I need to point out at this stage that we Germans are probably also pictured with rather funny clothes around the globe. Anyway, if you are of my generation and male the picture will most certainly involve Frank Rijkard spitting in Rudi Völler's hair as well as thousands of Dutch caravans blocking up German motorways in summer and thousands of Dutch registered cars with skis on the roof driving on our motorways like maniacs in winter. Blissfully, they seem to prefer certain Austrian ski resorts.

I think the huge number of caravans must be the most universal component of the picture in Germans' minds.

Now for decades I have lived under the impression that the picture they must have of us would involve Germans coming to invade once in a while, building the type of cars the Dutch would like to build themselves but can't and usually advance further somewhat undeservedly in international football tournaments.

If they are honest, they would also admit that they really do prefer German beer to their own brews, but who is to blame them for that, ey?

I realize that this might have been a tad naive, but quite frankly I had not given this all this much thought over the last 20 years or so.

As it turns out, I could not have been more wrong.

I don't remember exactly how this came up, but nevertheless and also very much to my surprise the thing that Germans are most associated with in Holland is ... are you ready ... DIGGING HOLES ON THE BEACH!

Yes, you read correctly. That is what we do apparently. And not only that. Once we have dug a hole, we proceed to sit in it.

When informed of this I obviously did think they were having me on....

Now please picture the following in your mind if you can:

It is a Sunday evening in Curacao and there is a well known beach bar with Happy Hour which is packed with hundreds of mostly somewhat inebriated people, most of them Dutch. In between the whole melee there is a pretty blond Dutch girl with a somewhat balding overweight German dwarf in tow asking people randomly what it is that Germans do. Without fail everyone that she asks without hesitation states Digging Holes.

Can you believe that? Even though I was there to witness it first hand, I still have trouble believing it.

Well, at least now I know and so do you.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to buy a shovel.

See you on the beach!